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The 5 Love Languages: Giving Gifts



My oldest daughter, Jessica, has the love language of gifts. She surprises my husband and me with unexpected presents that meet specific needs or desires. She pays attention to things we are drawn to for pleasure as well as things that we need to make life easier or more efficient. The things she chooses always match our needs, wants, and desires. When we receive a gift from Jessica, it communicates thoughtfulness and intentionality.


We are always surprised and moved that unbeknown to us, she notices things we want, but also need. I love a hot cup of coffee and have often stated the best rated coffee makers are the ones with a high heat setting. On my birthday, she gifted me with an Ember Mug! This wonderful invention allows you to electronically preset the desired temperature for your coffee, and the level of heat will be maintained for about an hour. I can now pour my favorite java and drink with confidence knowing my morning beverage will be consistently warm. These mugs are relatively new to the market, and I had no idea they existed. She saw my need and solved the problem. I am reminded of her thoughtful heart every time I use it.


I have learned how to be a good gift giver because of Jessica. People who communicate through the language of receiving gifts not only cherish the items given to them, but they also enjoy the element of surprise, the presentation of the gift, and the thought behind the token of affection. Beyond that, the memories of gift-giving occasions can also fill their hearts for years to come.


Tips for those with loved ones who speak the language of gifts is to consider gift buying a skill that can be developed over time. Understand the monetary value of an item is not important. It is the thought and sentiment behind the token received that touches the heart.


For a big surprise, consider buying gifts outside the traditional special occasions. Learn to give randomly for the gift lover in your life. A single package of bubble bath with a votive candle to enjoy after a hard day at work. A gift card for free food delivery when your friend or loved one is traveling. A single piece of delectable chocolate placed on the pillow to set the mood for romance. The possibilities are endless for giving gifts. The only thing you must ask yourself is, “How can I bless the heart of the recipient?” If you can accomplish this one task, you will succeed in the love language of gifts.



Patti Hatton, MA, LPC

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